Sometimes my husband acts like a child. I know, many women say this about their husbands. But what makes my husband acting like a big baby more difficult than most is that like me, he lives with rheumatoid arthritis. And the childlike behavior that drives me particularly crazy? When he goes off his meds.
That’s right, a 28-year-old man—technically an adult—with RA chooses to go off his meds from time to time.
Why would he do this? When I asked him why he looked me in the eye and told me that nothing works and nothing helps him.
I was so angry I wanted to smack the crap out of him. I see how much his meds help him and although he isn’t cured he can still function quite well with them – and definitely more than I can on a regular basis.
I only found out recently that he has “tested” whether his meds helped him or not by not taking them for periods of time. I saw him sitting on the couch – his face pale as a ghost, and I watched him not able to bend over because his back was inflamed. I started asking questions. He confessed that he stopped taking his meds for a week.
Great. He ended up with so much inflammation and pain that he could hardly function and his pain pills would then do little to nothing for him.
Something had to change.
I went to his doctor appointment with him and let the doctor know that he can’t be consistent with taking his meds so it really isn’t helping him like it should. She changed his medication to an infusion so that he will be forced to be on a steady dose that won’t be subject to his terrible memory, brain fog—or noncompliance.
So now I hope. I hope this is better and will give him better results. I hope that we can schedule appointments in a consistent manner so that he can see how effective it is. And I hope that he will stop fighting me and telling me that nothing works. He is just so damn stubborn it is unreal.
Why do I do this? Because I love him, and, because this disease waits for no one. It won’t wait for my husband to accept he needs meds. It won’t stop and it won’t wait for him to come to terms with his newfound disability. Instead, it will slowly eat away at his bones, his capability, his energy, and his hope. So, I am more stubborn than him and I win.
In the end, this makes him win too.