Dear Ms. Meniscus:
A marginal friend did something very unkind to me. Because she was marginal I didn’t confront her, but neither did I keep her on my friends list. She wasn’t a good friend so I quickly forgot about her boorish behavior. A few weeks ago she very sincerely apologized and asked if we could be friends again. She even admired me for not being a jerk about it by talking about her to mutual friends or holding a grudge. I know you think this story has a happy ending, but it doesn’t. Why would I be writing to you with a happy ending to this story? The problem is I don’t really like her and when she f#$*ed me over, I saw it as a way to extricate myself from the relationship. Now I’m back in it by default. I didn’t want to be the bigger jerk and refuse to accept her apology, but I liked the power of her being in the wrong. Now we’re equal. What do I do?
Only you and Donald Trump aspire to have the fewest friends on the planet. You should accept her apology, relegate her to D-list friendship status, and get on with your life. But I bet you can’t. You used the word power in your email to me, and I think that’s what this is all about. You’re a high functioning sadist. You maneuver your friends into positions of subservience and try to keep them there. This woman decided she wasn’t happy being your masochist. I think that bothers you, and more importantly, you’re bothered by her ability to maneuver you into a position of subservience — through her apology — which must really irritate you. Good luck. You two were meant to be together.