Dear Stacy,

First, your boyfriend needs to stand up to his mother and put a stop to her shenanigans.  Do NOT take this challenge on yourself — doing so would simply welcome her to drive a wedge in your relationship and cause even more problems.

Second, stay firm:  his mother needs to learn to respect your decisions (acceding to her wishes will only teach her that she can, indeed, get her way if she’s persistent enough).

— M