Dear Ms. Meniscus:
Since my wife always seems to be on CreakyJoints’ website or Facebook page, I’m going to ask a question I’m afraid to ask her directly. Maybe she will see this on these sites.
She was diagnosed with RA about five years ago, and since then she has put on about 40 pounds. Since we were married, she has always worn short, revealing clothes around the house, and I used to love it. Well, now that there is more to love, those clothes have become tight and unflattering on her. I don’t want to add to her stress since I understand how hard it is to have something like RA.
Can you tell me how to ask her to either lose weight or to start wearing better fitting clothes?
Tired of Averting My Eyes
Dear Tired of Averting,
So, essentially you want me to call your wife fat without you having to get your hands dirty. Is that correct?
First of all, you must admit from another perspective you really should be applauding your wife’s confidence. Men like you contribute to many women having body image problems — because they do not fit some ideal placed upon them. An ideal, by the way, that is often unhealthy and unattainable.
I’m going to step off my soap box now, since my first advice that came to mind was to recommend you gouge your afflicted eyes out.
Rather, to solve your problem, I suggest you give your wife a (likely) well-deserved extravagance. Give your wife a gift card to her favorite department store, and let her go to town. Many people tend to avoid shopping after gaining weight either because they view it as temporary or don’t want to let themselves become complacent to being two jean sizes larger.
Weight gain can oftentimes be a side effect from treatments to help reduce/prevent disease progression. To me, stopping the degeneration of your joints would seem preferable to being able to fit into a size six dress while in chronic pain.
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