Dear Ms. Meniscus:
I am a single woman who is 35 years old and has rheumatoid arthritis. I finally moved out of my mother’s house last year even though I was afraid to do it. My mother was always arguing how I wouldn’t be able to take care of myself but I wanted to at least try to be independent.
All was going well until I was laid off from my job in a medical office that I’ve had for the past ten years. I haven’t told my mother yet because I’m afraid she’ll tell me she knew I wouldn’t be able to make it. At the same time I need to tell her because if a new job doesn’t come up soon I cannot afford my apartment and will have to move back home.
Madame congratulates you on having summoned the strength to move out of your mother’s house even though you were afraid to do so. It reveals admirable qualities of strength and determination. Now, hopefully, that same strength and determination will direct you toward another job that will allow you to continue living independently (and in peace).
For now, conserve your energy. Don’t think about what your mother (who can’t seem to support you) would say. Instead, focus on the task at hand. It doesn’t matter that you can predict what she will say. You have already proven that you can move out and survive, and you’ve managed it for an entire year!
Your task is to concentrate on finding another job. You’ve worked for a decade at this medical office. You have contacts. You have co-workers and friends, or maybe you’ve made friends with one of the patients. If you haven’t already done so, put the word out that you are looking for another position. A job won’t pop up unless people know you’re actively looking. Don’t hesitate to reach out through your network of friends and acquaintances, because it can be done politely and professionally.
Remember Sara that you are experienced. There is a job out there for you.
It’s quite possible that your mother is actually worried about being alone, and all that talk and doubt could be about herself without her having a clue.
Right now it doesn’t matter. Preserve what is precious: your emotional and psychological energy. Keep your eye on the goal and you will get there. Sad Sara is, in reality, Strong Sara.
Madame wishes you luck…you already possess the strength.