Ms. Meniscus,

My granddaughter moved in with me after she graduated from college. She is very helpful, buys her own food, has a pleasant disposition, has a job, and pays rent. I have pretty serious osteoarthritis in both knees so having her around is a luxury for me since I don’t get around very well.

Sounds like heaven, right? Except her parents, especially my son, think she needs to be out on her own so a deep freeze is setting in between us. My granddaughter wants to help me and save a little money by living here, and I don’t see the problem. Am I doing the right thing, or should I listen to my son?

Can’t please them all

Dear Can’t please them all,

Well, you certainly can’t, but you can do what you feel is best for your granddaughter’s well-being. What you need to do is explain to your son and daughter-in-law that your granddaughter is not leeching off of you or your resources. It appears that she could be living on her own successfully, but she has chosen to help her grandmother while simultaneously holding down a job. She is carrying her own weight in your household and being fiscally responsible.

Lots of young people graduating from college these days are unemployed as a result of the economy, so rather than be sore about the ordeal, they should be proud of their daughter for everything she’s accomplished thus far.

If all else fails though, you can always use your grandmother trump card, “I’m not going to be around forever…” to guilt them into cooling their heads.

Time with loving grandparents is time well-spent.

— M

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