Dan’s holiday autoimmune tunesIt’s the holiday time once again, and that means Christmas trees, mistletoe, Menorahs, and, of course, carolers. Love ‘em or hate ‘em, these purveyors of the melodic holiday spirit seem to crop up everywhere, sometimes on your very doorstep. In order to do my part this year, I have decided to give you a smattering of Christmas Carols redone in true CreakyJoints style. Last year I re-did “’Twas the night before Christmas” with an autoimmune-theme, and it was a big hit (not really). I hope you enjoy this just as much. Feel free to sing these at your own Christmas parties!

Hands to scrawl

(Sung to the theme of Deck The Halls)

Playing piano did not feel jolly,
Oh, ow, ow, ow, ow, Oh, ow, ow, ow.
Using my hands was just pure folly,
Oh, ow, ow, ow, ow, Oh, ow, ow, ow.
I really thought I could withstand it,
Oh, ow, ow, Oh, ow, ow, Oh, ow, ow.
Now everything I do left-handed,
Oh, ow, ow, ow, ow, Oh, ow, ow, ow.


Tingle Spells

(Sung to the tune of Jingle Bells)

Typing out my work,
in my office space at home,
my hands begin to twerk,
for reasons yet unknown.
I wake up every day,
with numbness in my hands,
what a pain it is to see and pay,
my doctor for some scans.
Tingle spells, tingle spells, tingle every day,
no one told me carpal tunnel,
comes with my R.A.
Tingle spells, tingle spells, tingle every way,
I wish I’d known that carpal tunnel,
comes with most R.A!


Watch it grow

(Sung to the tune of Let it Snow)

Oh, I still have to shop for gifts,
so I won’t be home in a jif,
my knee is gonna hurt me so,
watch it grow, watch it grow, watch it grow.

My turkey smells really nice,
but I gotta go shovel the ice,
my elbow can’t lift the snow,
watch it grow, watch it grow, watch it grow!

When I finally get to rest,
oh I know it’ll hurt when I rise,
but because I’m not even dressed,
I just bite my lip and stifle my cries!

Oh, I made it through Christmas Day,
but, boy, am I going to pay,
joints hurt from my head to my toe,
watch them grow, watch them grow, watch them grow!

So, there you have it. Next time someone spontaneously breaks out into Christmas carols, try using the new lyrics instead to bring some awareness to the autoimmune community! Have a safe holiday and a happy new year!

“He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
and away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”