Laminated List: A list of the top 5 people, usually celebrities, with whom you could have sex with without repercussions, if the opportunity arose, regardless of whether you were in a relationship or not. ~ Urban Dictionary
We all have them, those secret lists of men or women whom we’d drop everything for and run away to live a life of hedonistic pleasure.
My list is mostly actors and musicians, always has been since I fell for Ringo Starr when I was eight, though at that age I just wanted to meet the guy.
I wrote letters to teen magazines asking for a keepsake from my favorite rockers when I was a tween, then I discovered making cassette tapes and FM radio and my world view changed with bands like Yes and the mighty Led Zeppelin. I will still argue today that “Whole Lotta Love,” and “What Is And What Should Never Be” are two of the greatest rock songs ever recorded.
You know by now I could write a major series on my musical influences, but we were talking about laminated lists, not rock ‘n’ roll.
My husband and I each have a list, and there are strict rules.
- The person on the list must come to our front door, knock, then ask for the particular person by name.
- That person can walk out the door, run away with their fantasy person and stay as long as they like.
- We get to come back home when we want to, no questions asked.
I think the first real contender on my list was the elusive, beautifully spoken and sexy as hell even now, Sting.
The first time I saw him I was thunderstruck. The owner of that slightly raspy, smoky voice who actually rhymed “Nabokov” in “Don’t Stand So Close to Me” made my knees weak. I was a goner. I still am.
Jackson Browne could drop by and I’d leave for a day or two for a lovely rendezvous.
Warren Beatty was on the list for a while, to be bumped off by a guy with lovely blue eyes, years before he took a trip on the crazy train, Mel Gibson.
Those eyes, that smile, meant he could take me down any primrose path he chose.
Brad Pitt followed and is still big on my list, as is his friend George Clooney.
I have a screen saver titled “Proof that God Exists” that is a picture of Brad and George together relaxed and smiling. Be still my heart.
By the way, Mr. Clooney is every bit at charming and mannerly as he seems. He was raised a Southern boy and it shows.
There is a special place on my list for two other men, Antonio Banderas and David Duchovny.
The first time I saw Mr. Banderas in the flesh I almost lost it. He was smokin’ hot. The product of sunny Spain strolled into an interview room wearing Levi 501 jeans and a white T-shirt. He black hair was curly and I would have thrown my job into the wind to run my hands through that hair. His English was terrible and that made him even more desirable.
I simply smiled, stared and asked simple questions. Years later, I finagled a one-on-one interview with him for “Evita.” When he was told where I was from, when I walked into the hotel room, he stood and sang “Oklahoma!” for me. I stood there, totally charmed by this thoughtful and amazing thing happening to me and in front of me and fell harder. Also, “Zorro.” Holy cow, how can you resist?
Mr. Duchovny snared me with those dark good looks and his intelligent lines in “The X-Files.” I am still a member of two Internet news groups dedicated to that show and have made friends worldwide because of it.
One remarkable night in Los Angeles, I rode alone in an elevator with that hunk of man. I must have been staring because I believe he was ready to bolt until I punched a floor and flashed a room key. He relaxed then and we had a brief chat about the weather in Oklahoma and in Vancouver and when he got off the elevator and the doors closed, I lost it. I giggled and jumped up and down. It was bliss.
I was able to stalk, uh I meant to say interview, him a few more times in different hotels and talk to him several times. I’m ashamed to say I own a glass water bottle he drank from. I’m sure he left it on the table just so I could swipe it. This makes me as bad as “Big Bang Theory’s” Sheldon Cooper and his sample of Leonard Nimoy’s DNA. I can clone Fox Mulder, aka Mr. Duchovny.
Hugh Jackman is on my list now and I’ve recently added Chris Helmsworth after seeing both “Thor” movies, “The Avengers” and my favorite, “Rush.”
My husband’s list includes Michelle Pheiffer, Kate Bush, Kat Denning, Zoe Deschanel and a few more that right now I can’t remember, but if mine can come for me, he deserves the same respect.
At least we both can dream, and wait for that knock on the door.