Flaring, and it stinksI’m Flaring.  It Stinks.

Well, those four words pretty much sum up my life right now.  And they are really getting in the way of me being productive.

And unfortunately, this is not an either/or situation.  I’m experiencing symptoms of an RA flare AND a lupus flare.

In terms of RA, my knees are killing me.  I can barely bend down from the knees.  And I feel like I am coming down with something – sore throat, slight fever – you know the drill.

In terms of lupus, I have some mouth ulcers that have been around for the last week, but I’ve been trying to ignore them.

But it’s like when I was first diagnosed.  It wasn’t until everything went nuts at once that anyone, including me, decided to take notice.

And I think the same goes for flaring.  Mouth ulcers alone aren’t enough to freak me out.  But when I start to have other symptoms, well, then I start to take notice…and worry…

I haven’t had a significant flare in a while…knock on wood…

I have had a few periods of feeling like flaring, and then the symptoms leave as quickly as they came on.  But this time feels different.

I get the sense that these symptoms might not be moving along any time soon.  And I don’t like that idea one bit.

Maybe my body is reacting to this endless winter we’ve been having.

Or maybe my medication regimen is starting to lose its potency.  It wouldn’t be the first time.  In truth, after six months or a year, every medication I’ve ever been on has plateaued.  I guess I had tried to keep this fact in the back of my mind.  But that reality is starting to resurface.

I’m not trying to be all doom and gloom, but I am trying to be realistic about what this might mean for me.

I’ve been off of steroids for about a month now, and I am going to try my best not to go back on them.  But this could finally be my body reacting to the lack of steroids.

Anyway, this is my post for this week.  Normally I try and tackle issues that are academic- related or involve slights others cause because of ignorance about illness.  But this time, I’m tackling me.  I’m trying to fight for myself in a real way here.

I’m not writing this so I can have a pity party.  It was either this or nothing.