Well, if there’s one thing I can mark off the list of “to-do’s”, it’s “compete in a dodgeball tournament with my two brothers”. Stupidly, last week I was talked into playing in a tournament while on vacation, and had a 72 hour reminder after-the-fact about two major issues: 1. People with arthritis shouldn’t play dodgeball. 2. Jewish, un-athletic people with arthritis should definitely not play in dodgeball tournaments.


I described the feeling afterwards as being like I had just played tennis, only about 1000 times worse. My ankles and my hips stopped working. My wrist cried out in pain. All for a measly semi-final finish. Credit to my older brother Brian who, despite the appearance of being most out-of-shape, actually had the most dramatic catches and carried the team to a few victories. The man knows what he’s doing with his balls.


I, however, was the guy who composed himself for all of the cheering fans (there was a gathering of teenage girls on the sideline) (gathering = two), then collapsed afterwards in a catatonic state for the remainder of the day.


Lesson learned. I should have stuck with the mini-golf tournament…