It’s that time of year again, when holiday excitement winds down, and people tire of sending cards and attending events: also called, my birthday.
My birthday usually comes with a sigh, because it is one more thing to plan for this time of year, and I only have so many spoons reserved for planning. Plus, it’s anyone’s guess whether or not I’ll actually be functional on that very day.
I know this sounds like a lot of pessimism, just keep reading…
My birthdays in recent years haven’t exactly been remarkable due to my health. I’ve always chocked this up to just “getting older”, saying it’s just another birthday, NBD (no big deal).
So in an attempt to change this, last year a big party was planned with a friend who happens to share my same birthday, and it wasn’t until the day actually rolled around that I realized I hadn’t planned the event for myself, but for everyone else.
I made sure it was at a location where there was plenty of booze – something I can’t partake in, loud pounding music – which angers my migraines, and so on. Granted I had fun, but it wasn’t for me. I had planned an event in order to convince people to come, to entice them into spending the day with me. Why?
If I have learned anything since then, it’s that I shouldn’t have to convince people to be my friends. I’ve lost so many through the years due to my autoimmune arthritis, either because they thought I was faking, or they couldn’t handle life when shit got real.
So this year I’ve taken back my birthday. Initially I decided on no real event because I didn’t want to be disappointed when my ‘friends’ didn’t show because I chose to do something that wasn’t on their list of how to drink away a Saturday. But what came next surprised me.
I realized I should be thrilled about my birthday! I have survived another year with this relentless disease, and have surprised myself along the way – that is something to celebrate.
So instead, I will wake in my fluffy bed on my birthday and feel no stress about making others happy. I will let my day play out how my body feels fit, and make sure to let my hubby spoil me along the way. Now this I am excited about!
And what do you know, just as I decided to go ahead and truly celebrate myself, beautiful flowers arrived at my doorstep from a friend; a friend who showed up in spirit, even though she lives thousands of miles away.
Loving myself, and allowing myself to be happy the way I want to be has gained me new friends; ones that get me, disease and all.
You’re never too old to make new friends, and if you’re lucky, they might just surprise you in more ways than one.
Britt aka The Hurt Blogger
CreakyJoints wishes our good friend Britt a very Happy Birthday….
And we’d also like Britt’s readers to know that she was interviewed by Chris Snider for his popular medical podcast, “Just Talking”..
To hear Britt tell her story and journey as a patient and now advocate, go to: http://justtalkingpodcast.com