Dear Arthritis:

You have a lot of nerve. You moved into my life a long time ago, and even though I wake up with you every morning, you have yet to pay me any rent. You eat all the food in the fridge and I know it was you who ordered those late night movies last spring. I think it’s time you find a new place, I don’t have room for you anymore in my life.

Sincerely,Seth, your landlord